July 2022. London, Ont. 

Deja-vu never felt so prominent as it does now. These past few days have been filled with moments of nostalgia, recounting memories from almost a year ago. It really is crazy how things come full circle, and I find myself back spending the days with all three girls while Paul is out at work. The difference now is, we actually feel like this place is home, so much is familiar and routine to us, we know where to go, we know people to see, we have people to meet, places to go and things to do. Throw that back to last July when I was in an almost constant state of angst trying to find things to entertain the girls with, knowing that it was just me and them for 10 hours of the day! We’re so used to the heat and humidity of Ontario summers that we now know how to dress, when and when not to go outside in it, and where to retreat to for some shade. Recently, I’ve found myself taking an extra moment or two while out on a walk, on a street that I love, to just look around me and soak up those last few memories of the place, trying to imprint the finer details into my mind, in the hope that I won’t forget them, or how they made me feel. The lovely streets around where we’ve made our home this past year are steeped in different memories, different seasons we’ve experienced. I’ve even caught myself looking up at those gorgeous maple trees and their leaves, knowing I won’t get to see them turn their beautiful golden reds and browns again this year. 


It is funny though, how time cycles and how you almost feel like the universe is providing closure for you. For weeks I resisted the thought that we would leave Canada soon, sure that an opportunity would present itself for us to stay. But alas, it didn’t (not the right one anyway), and slowly we’ve been coming around to the fact that we’re leaving this amazing country – we really need to hurry up about accepting that…there’s a lot of packing to do! Some friends that we’ve made have left to pursue lives and jobs elsewhere, school’s out for summer, playdates are less frequent, and life just seems a little quieter. But still noisy as hell, of course. It’s like anything really, you think you have time until you don’t. And when you realise you don’t have much of it, you frantically start planning the things you wish you’d done or the places you wish you’d gone to, knowing full well that you’re absolutely crazy for trying to squeeze it all in now, and that ultimately, you’ll have to put some things on the list for ‘another time’.